Love Is Blind

Love Is Blind Is love truly blind? Is love what we feel - not what we see? Romantic love suppresses neural activity in the brain which is associated with critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions. It seems that once we get close to another person - once we fall in love with them - our brain has a reduced need to assess their character and to harbour negative emotions towards them. Our love for them is blind. It's love we feel ... It's not love we see. The notion "love is blind" has a lot of merit. It's nature's way of allowing us to express our love for another person because we feel that love for them in our heart and in our soul. Our feelings of love are unconditional at the point we express them. So romantic love is often blind, but that isn't such a bad thing. Do You Kiss With Your Eyes Open Or Closed? When you kiss someone you love in a romantic way, do you keep your eyes open or shut? I If you close your eyes - is this the essence of "love is blind"? You don't have to see the one you love to know you love them. You accept it on faith and you kiss them without fear, without any sense of danger. You love them, if you will, blindly. Or do your keep your eyes open? Knowing what you see and feel is true love. False Blind Love Insecure people often mistake true love with a fantasised version of blind love, which is not based on reality. per se, even though they may adamantly believe or convinced themselves in their love relationship. However much denial is portrayed, ultimately this is a destructive fantasy and leads to nowhere. Distancing Yourself From Trusted Family And Friends It is normal and often a very good thing to dedicate unequal time and energy to a new relationship. However, as things stabilise, your new found love can cause you to create unhealthy distance from the trusted people in your life. The danger is isolating yourself from needed insight and wisdom from people who know you best. Without the presence and voice of those trusted people surrounding you, you could be blind to helpful advice and observations that would ultimately benefit you. People Pleasing Love can intoxicate you to the point that you act outside of your character within the relationship. Your eagerness to keep the relationship positive can keep you from being honest. You discount your own opinions and simply try to please your significant other. This is a pattern that can lead to very unrealistic expectations in the relationship that could backfire down the road. Every healthy relationship should welcome honesty and vulnerability. Making Major Decisions Too Early The excitement of the new relationship can lead to making major decisions too soon or in the wrong order. Everyone these days has differing views, whether influenced by family, culturally, socially or religiously, as to couples having sex before marriage or a long term commitment.

However you can feel so “in love” you give yourself to one another sexually. Your intimacy has far exceeded your commitment and you are now precipitously dangling over the rapids of insecurity. Moving in together, relocating for love, merging bank accounts, buying pets, etc. before appropriate commitment is in place are all examples of making major love-blind decisions. Overlooking The Red Flags Love-blind men and women will try their best to dismiss the red flags of someone’s past. It is good to forgive and open to true change, however, love-blind people don’t wait for proof. That’s the problem. If you see red flags in someone’s past, don't dismiss them, don’t make light of them . You don’t have to run away from the person, but you owe yourself and the relationship the due diligence to ensure the indiscretions of the past are truly history and not coming back to haunt you! You must be aware and look for dependable changes in patterns of behaviour. Whether it’s financial, ethical, or moral indiscretions, Talk is cheap, you must look for consistent action, that is your validation for positive change. One Sided Love Love changes everything and makes us blind to the point where we cannot see clearly whether the other person loves us back. You may feel that expressing love has always been coming from your part but also refusing to accept the fact your partner is not responding the same way. Only hoping that one day that they will see the situation through your eyes. Finally, you give up this fantasy, as the signs are more than obvious that he/she would never see you as a loved one. Excusing Bad Behaviour There is no good reason to allow obvious bad behaviour to go unchecked in a relationship. Love-blind people are suckers for being taken advantage of by bad behaviour. The last thing love-blind people do is confront negative issues. However, bad behaviour needs appropriate consequences to incite change, if change is possible.

Whether you like it not or trying to change them is not going to work. Yes you can set a good example, have strong morals and act sensibly with good intention. But realise that change only comes from within the other person waking up to their bad behaviour , it's negative consequences and making a conscious commitment to change.for the better and for your long lasting relationship.

It is never a good idea to let obvious bad behaviour to be swept under the rug. Not just the occasional misstep, but more about deep character flaws behind ongoing disrespect, critical spirit, profanity, pornography/sexual addiction, substance abuse, deception/lying, and all forms of physical, emotional, verbal and sexual abuse.

The Do's And Dont's of Dealing With Bad Behaviour YES, you should say something. YES, you should create safe distance to make sure these issues are addressed before moving forward. YES, you should expect him or her to take full responsibility for their actions. YES, you should expect consistent change if you plan to move forward. NO, you should not try to “fix them." NO, you should not “hope for the best." NO, you should not fear this is your last chance at love. Trying To Make Them Love You If somebody does not have feelings for you, wasting time trying to make them fall in love is the worst decision to take. Begging for affection won’t make a cold heart melt for you. So, you’d better save your precious feelings and time for the one who will love you as you deserve it. And this person will surely come one day if you allow yourself to be open to the possibility and let go of the outcome. True Blind Love There are any common characteristics with those who are blindly in love. Those truly in love, have a love that transcends anything you could see or touch with your hand. Their love is based on trust. Their love is unconditional love. Their love is based on feelings that are heart-felt. Their love is so strong and so deep, it has become blind love. It's fine to express your love openly, freely, unequivocally, honestly, and yes, blindly. What you feel in your heart does not need eyes to see. Just know its a path for two to take in tandem.